schnoodle: (Default)
[personal profile] schnoodle
Yesterday's meeting with the ESA assessment people went ok, the lady said I shouldn't tell you this my I think no you have good reasons for not being able to work at the moment and you sound like you're going through a lot ATM. My wife has really been stressing me out and I've not really been able to work out what it actually is. Last night it clicked, I'm am very much dealing with the here and now, taking each day as it comes. My wife isn't, she's planning the future - leaving her job, moving house, going to university. This is great but she's not actually dealing with what is actually happening, I'm getting more and more stressed dealing with the important things that need to be done and she's not really helping with that. The planning is just adding more to my and she's can't understand why.
I explained it like this if your at work, generally you work time off especially if you have a busy work place then go to the travel agent and book the holiday. She's trying to do it the other way round to book and plan things and hoping it doesn't mess with anyone or anything else. There can be a lot of problems and extra stressed cause but not finding out things beforehand. I said to her I'm not trying to get negative or not committal but you're planning all these things and thinking life will be great, However you might end up making things worse and we could loose everything.
Sure we can move to somewhere cheaper to live and get a lesser mortgage, get a degree but if we both out of work we might loss a house even if it is cheaper.
There are too much unanswered questions, she still is a cancer patient and she doesn't know about further treatments. I feel like I'm shitting on her dreams but she needs to but in the real world and sometimes we can't just do what we want.

St the end of the day there are too many things currently beyond my control and I can do nothing about. I don't even have a job because things are beyond my control how she things we can do these things if neither of us is working.
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