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[personal profile] schnoodle
My wife came back from visiting a friend for 2 days, I really missed her a lot and I really don't know how I'm going to handle her being away for 10 days. I'm going to try and keep busy with doing some painting/DIY around the house but I think I'm going to get quite lonely to be honest.
She said she was surprised how how much I'd missed her and she said that she thought I was in a mood with her and would be glad of the space. Which I didn't think I was, sure it was nice to get things done but I still love and miss her.
She's tired from all the walking and driving she'd done and seems a bit irritable, I said to her the main thing I want for for her to be happy. She turned around and said she wants me to be happy too and I need to be happy. I confess I'm not really that happy ATM but that's down to the situation and the feel of limbo, I really don't know what to do or what's best to do.
I'm not saying my wife has it any easier far from it but she has a far better idea of how she's feeling and what she's doing. I'm trying to support her and see it as my job to care for her as a carer but when that stops she has to tell me. I just don't want her to turn around and say well I don't need you anymore and I'm not stopping you from doing anything especially finding another job. I mean she has said that already and then needed me again so it's tricky, she's afraid, I know she is and I she thinks she'll need more chemo and her life is going to be short and doing want anyone holding her back.
She also says I have Asperger syndrome and OCD and I need to accept and deal with things which I'm trying to do.
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