May. 1st, 2017

schnoodle: (Default)
I'm tired, I wish things were better, I know things could be a lot worse but it does get frustrating. Even my wife said the other day that she was sorry for how things have turned out and that she didn't want me to waste my life away with regret. A similar thing to what my mum said that I will miss out on really living, won't have children. It's really shit but I'm not going to abandon my wife in sickness and in health. I love her and yes, we won't have children and yes she might not have the life we expected but that's not her fault. Sure I'd like to be working, getting drunk, having wild time and doing all kinds of crazy shit or just normal shit, I can't remember the last time I actually had sex or anything really carefree but Im not a heartless bastard.
If I end up being her full time cater then this what I have to do, it's just hard sometimes especially when people don't realise how hard it is. At times it's very depressing, it's emotional and frustrating but it is what it is.
Do I wish things were different? Sure, but we just have to make the most of it and just take each day as it comes.


schnoodle: (Default)

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